No rest for the weary

according to sparknotes... i am a genius

2005-08-31T16:41:32Z

The results have been tabulated, and your IQ is...

145
You're a genius!
(Your IQ is calculated by comparing your raw test score against others of your age and sex. An IQ of 100 is exactly average. An IQ of 200 is twice as smart as the average person.)

Compared to other 19 year old females...

92% dumber than you — 1% as smart as you — 7% smarter than you

that scares me.

Of course, If I'm coming back on LJ, I have to do the copycat thing :P

2005-07-25T17:48:01Z

A - Age of 1st kiss: hmm... one that counts? 13ish
B - Band you are listening to right now: Sadly, none. I just woke up. *wipes eyes*
C - Crush: uhmmm....
D - Dad's name: Keith
E - Easiest person to talk to: As of late? Probably Anat
F - Favorite ice cream: Vanilla.
G - Gummy worms or Gummy bears: Definitely Sour worms.. though I like decapitating bears O:)
H - Hometown: Northridge
I - Instruments: Lots... Trumpet, voice, different forms of clarinet, trombone, different saxes, flute... i could keep going you know :P
J - Junior high: Walter Reed
K - Kids: Eventually :)
L - Longest car ride: 6 hours... to Vegas. (hint: this is an extraordinarily long time to take to get to Vegas)
M - Mom's name: Irene
N - Nickname(s): Allie, Alex, Lex, Zan, Alle (much prettier in spanish), Cassandra, Allison, Dra.
O - One wish: To reach and surpass all of my goals that I set for myself.
P - Phobia[s]: Things that are squishy or weird consistencies (beans scare me). Certain insects, losing loved ones.
Q - Quote: Me to Andrew and Ross: "If Jimmy gets play tonight I'm going to kill myself"
Ross to Me: "Don't worry, you won't have to kill yourself, If Jimmy gets play tonight the fire rain from the sky will kill you first"
R - Reason to smile: Thinking of all of my friends that are there for me through the good and the bad times.
S - Song you sang last: Happy Birthday. It's my mom's birthday today.
T - Time you woke up today: 9:15ish
U - Unknown fact about me: I spend my 99% of my free time reading/studying, and 1% of it going out. I stay in alot...
V - Vegetable(s) you dislike: Eggplant, okra (ok.. I've never had okra... but I probably won't ever try it..), squash, yams.
W - Worst habit: Procrastination... In the words of a good friend of mine... "Procrastination is like masturbation.. it feels good, but in the end you're just fucking yourself."
X - X-rays you've had: teeth
Y - Your least favorite person: Uhm.... *says nothing*
Z - Zodiac sign: Aries

A public apology

2005-07-24T06:24:27Z

I know that I've been really kind of bitchy as of late, and I just wanted to apologize to all of the casualties. I guess that I'm still in a bit of a shock because of the sudden downhill turn everything took. It went from sheer perfection and happiness to everything falling apart. Though it's not really a good reason I really had to say something. This morning before work I sat and just thought for a while. Thought about everything that has been going on, about all of the reasons why I've been so upset for the past two weeks, and for the first time in a while I found myself crying. I just completely lost control for a bit. I mean... I've cried recently, but more the silent tear type.. Today was just full out sobbing. So, I guess it comes down to this: I can't control the actions of others. I can't change people's feelings. And worse of all I think, I can't control my own emotions/feelings. But realizing this opened a new door for me. I may not be able to control these things.. but I can control how I react to them... and that is what I will start to do. If life was easy you'd never learn anything, and learning is really what gives meaning to life... so I don't think I could bear that easy and yet meaningless existence. Funny how I would choose the hard route anyday over the easy one. Ah well.

It has been a REALLY long time since I've used this...

2005-02-26T22:09:08Z

The last time I used this thing was August of last year. I used to use it as a venting post... kinda got me into trouble here and there, but I don't really mind either way. I realized today that I haven't spoken to some of my friends in over 3 months... which is a bit discouraging.

Alot has changed in the time that I've been away... namely me. It feels so weird to go through some of the old posts I've made on here.. they were so.. depressing. I wonder how I had enough time to feel that way for so long...

I haven't slept in 4 days... mainly because I've been super stressed and can't take sleeping pills, which is making me really cranky. In fact, I've been a complete jerk lately to people that really haven't deserved it. I feel bad about it, but I just haven't found a way to properly apologize, especially since I'm probably going to turn around and do the same thing again while I'm sleep deprived.

*is done*

the updating has begun...

2004-08-24T10:15:47Z

*points to my new icon*... It has begun. My first animated image that I made for myself... *i've made plenty for other people*
(if you guys want one for your lookup I can make them to match ANY layout and they can say or do anything you want them to ... almost..) what do you guys think?

as for an update about tonight.. its 3:15 and I can't sleep.. telling? I think so.. *sigh*... I wish that I could put things aside when I try to sleep..

Stupid Layout

2004-08-22T04:46:14Z

I've been meaning to redo the look of my live journal for a while. I think after I finish writing this I will make myself an icon and background. We shall see. My current mood is really shitty. I suppose that at the moment I just am feeling what has been building up the past, oh, month and a half or so. I don't know what to feel right now, and its all very dramatic. It's just kind of ridiculous. I spend all of my time on one site where I try and make people happy, because it makes me feel good, and then I just get fucked over by other people on the site. It makes me sad. The time I don't spend there is spent on work of one sort or another. Homework, school... eh. All the same thing. I miss my friends. I rarely hear from Aaron, and I don't call him, I rarely get to talk to Adri, because she is in Argentina and I am usually about to go when she IMs me, I rarely get to talk to Anat because she just got back from Israel, and I am away when she calls. So many problems. I'm just in this funk, and it really shows in everything that I do. When I went to lunch this afternoon with some friends, I was really down, but half way through the lunch I realized that I was letting it show, and completely turned on the smile. I hate the fakeness that came with today. And yet, I don't want to be incredibly depressed. Gah. Not to say that I don't have friends here. I do. And they are wonderful. But I miss the people that I spent everyday with last year, through good days and bad. I miss them. I miss you. I miss me... the me before I became this depressed sad specimen.

procrastination is (still) my friend

2004-06-17T05:52:05Z

I have a paper due tomorrow and I haven't even started it yet. Further, I'm starting to say goodbye to people as they leave for the summer... and it's making me sad.

Tomorrow it will all be over.

1 paper and 1 final + work and financial aid office. There will be no sleeping for me tonight. But I don't really want to sleep anyway. Actually.. I take that back.. I'd like to drown my worries in sleep and not have to think about them ever again. It's unfortunate that I can't do that. Oh well. C'est la vie.

I had resolved to changing my entries to friends-only, but I have decided that unless someone reads too much into what I am saying, this is alright to post. I don't like censoring myself. It feels so unreal. Whatever... again.. that's life. Congrats to everyone that's done with finals.

Goodnight.

it has been decided

2004-06-16T06:33:44Z

that I can no longer post on livejournal in public unless it is happy and hides my feelings. therefore, after this entry I will either start posting entirely in friends only (and take a few people off of my friends list... hint.. if you are reading this right now, I probably don't mean you.. certain people only read if I have a sad icon after the entry) or just stop posting entirely.

in the mean time

i spent a lot of time with aaron last night, for one reason or another, and now I am procrastinating crazy style. I have a final and a paper due on Thursday and then I am home free.. I wonder what the summer will bring. My stomach really hurts right now, and I know why, but I wish I didn't. Ugh. Anyway... good luck everyone.

auclachick @ 2004-06-14T20:18:00

2004-06-15T03:27:25Z

I asked Adri on AIM today to say "good luck on finals" and "have a nice summer" to Aaron today. I told her good luck and wished her a good summer, and then offered her a virtual hug online. I just don't want to see anyone anymore. Like... it's gotten to the point where I feel like it's just not worth it anymore. This summer I'm going to be here and I've gone out of my way to NOT find out who else is staying. I just dont want to know. It doesn't matter. For all the social stuff that I'm going to be doing, y'all might as well just act as if I don't exist. Oh wait, you do that anyway.. or act like I'm a particularly nasty slug that doesn't understand what you are doing or saying. Look, I'm not stupid. If you don't wanna talk to me, then don't, ok? You don't have to. No one is forcing you. You can just say.. "Look Alexandra, honestly, I don't like you very much, and I don't really want to talk to you anymore". It's not like I'm going to blow up at you. I'll respect your wishes. Just FUCKING TELL ME. Whatever.. you know, it doesn't matter. Oh, and to clarify, I'm not pissed at anyone. Just tired of hearing about what people say behind my back. And also, to clarify something else, I told Adri and Aaron an early bye, not because I'm pissed at them, because I'm not, but because I just have some shit that I need to do that I don't want ANYONE breathing down my neck for. Whatever. Fuck it. I don't need this shit.

wow...

2004-06-09T20:00:04Z

I just posted my first private entry on livejournal, because I had written a journal entry the other night in my notebook and wanted to put it online. I realized after I reread it, and typed it up, that it's really not very good. What happened? How did I go back to this slump? *sigh* I don't want to be here. In fact... I don't know if I even want to deal with certain things/people ever again. That... is also... very sad.

MmMmMm... PaNiC AtTaCkS...

2004-06-08T08:51:18Z

Yeah.. lets just say that I love Anat... very very much. I would have been left to deal with that completely alone if it wasn't for her. I really hate this sometimes. I wish I could just... not have to deal with this crap anymore.

So.. second question of the day:

If I didn't come to UCLA next year, would you find a way to still be my friend? (no.. this is not as random as it may seem... and yes Noa, I am still gonna be your roomie next year... hehe)

Wow...

2004-06-07T19:44:30Z

Well.. thanks to everyone for your replies to my last post. While I really know that I am not anything even close to a slut... having a friend tell you that you are really sucks, and it definitely made me feel like I should question myself. After doing this for a little over 4 days, I have decided to just try and forget about it. I mean, I am still upset at him, but I am not going to mope about this. Anyway...

Yesterday was interesting, and I think the most fun that I have had in a while was had while I spent 45 min. or an hour with Aaron... Here's the story

So... Nat and I had made plans to go to dinner, and we did... we saw a bunch of friends at a table together when we got to the dining hall (Noa, Joline, Aaron, Marwa... and others) and so we sat with them. Nat and I mainly talked to each other, because we had planned to talk over dinner anyway. After we were done, we got up, said bye to everyone at the table, and went out to continue our conversation. We sat on the lawn in front of Evergreen (I told Anat that I would come and see her and study with her, and she lives in Evergreen) and basically lounged out there and talked. So, maybe 10 minutes later, the group that we had been with at dinner came out, and Aaron headed back over to Evergreen (cuz.. he lives there.. hehe) and stops to talk to us. He was throwing an orange in the air, and right before he threw it into the air (for the final time) said "I'm going to drop this".. then proceeded to throw it way too high, and drop it. It broke open, and he picked it up, split it in half, and got the juice all over his hands and such. So, he went and threw away the orange, and came back... and then wiped his hands all over my sweatshirt!!! I couldn't believe it... so I got up and started to chase him around barefoot. He grabbed my cell phone and ran away with it and I ran after him to get it back. I only stopped chasing him for a second when I stepped on glass.. or something similar. Then he was out of my reach, and gave me back my phone and took off running again. I didn't know why.. until I saw him snatch up my shoes and run into Evergreen. Just as I get there... he goes in.. throws one of my shoes outside, and runs to the elevator. I was planning on getting the shoe that he had first, and then getting the one outside, but he just said.. "someone is going to steal it! go get it" and jumped in the elevator. I went outside, got the shoe, and then took the elevator back up to his room. I knocked on the door, and he opened it. I said "can I have my shoe back?" and he was just like.. "it's not in my room! here.. you can come in and check." and lets me in. I would have looked around.. but there really wasn't a point.. If he said it wasn't there, it wasn't, and he obviously gave it to someone else, right? So, he proceeds to turn up the music that he had playing... and I was incredibly amused because he starts to sing to me ((Enrique Iglesias' "Hero"))and do some very amusing things ((ask me to reenact his serenade)) including when the line "You can take my breath away" came on.. singing it loudly, panting, and then going... "yeah.. after you chase me around the quad!"... sooo funny! Anyway.. he had me watch the music video after that.. and then told me that I should go downstairs, and that my shoe would magically appear in the lobby, and just to prove that he wasn't going to be getting it from his room, offered me his room key and made me promise to give it back to him when I got my shoe back from him. I took that deal and went downstairs. As I was waiting, I weighed my options... He had one of my two shoes, and I had his room key so.. of course.. I put the other shoe on the stairs and went outside barefoot, with his room key in my pocket. I called him... and said "In case you haven't noticed.. the rules of the game have changed... you are playing by my rules now... you'll find when you get downstairs that I am no longer there and that there is a shoe sitting on the stairs. Fair trade. Catch me if you can" and hung up. :). Basically, after that, I had him come outside and look for me (did I mention that he was locked out of his room and wearing socks, and no shoes at this point? hehehehe) when he found me, he gave me ONE shoe back, and walked away with his room key and my other shoe. I caught back up to him and tried to get my shoe back. He goes "hey! sexual harassment!" and I said "oh.. do you really want to accuse me of that? My policy is that if someone accuses me of something, I may as well have the benefit of having done it"... hehehehe... He still had my shoe as he got into the elevator, and I stepped into some kind of liquid that was on the floor... ((eeewwwww)).. so as we are in the elevator and I am trying to get my shoe back, we start to wrestle. I pinned him to the side of the elevator, and wiped my foot all over his socks... hehe.. that was my payback to him for the orange juice! He wasn't having it, and grabbed me and hugged me, and as he was doing so, rubbed my back ((and massive sunburn!!)) really really hard. Oy... we continued with the jibes a bit.. and then finally we got to his floor, where he finally gave me my shoes back, and we departed. I just found this whole thing very very amusing. Aaron was in a really playful mood, and it was a bunch of fun.

Afterwards.. I went and talked to Anat for a while, and ended up talking to Charles and Hung for another few hours. So, last night was entirely unproductive.. but also incredibly fun. I loved it!

I've decided that I am also going to do a question of the day. Everyone answer!

Today's question: What is the most interesting thing you did this weekend?

I've always wondered...

2004-06-04T21:51:20Z

why it is that you can be so up one minute and then so down the next. I have been so happy lately, and it really just took one person to say something and tear me down. I mean.. right now, I just feel like a total and complete slut. And I didn't even do anything for me to feel this way. But when he said that.. I just got torn down. Anat was in the room with us when he said this, and her jaw dropped too, because in a way, his comment, though directly said to me, was a blow to both of us. And both of us are upset about this. Perhaps me more than her, but that is because I really never thought that I would live to see the day when it would be implied that I was a slut (not that she would either, but I am probably more emotional than she is). And before anyone gets any ideas, no, it WASN'T Aaron. I didn't think that I would care, and I tried to pretend not to, but that hurt so much. You guys know me.. so here is my question to everyone.. and please do answer... Do I act like a slut? Am I really like that? What image do I put out to people?

Please be honest... and for that matter... why don't you post anonymously so that you don't feel like you need to censor yourselves. I want to know.

Sometimes I sit and wonder..

2004-06-03T21:17:11Z

Hillel politics are making me sick. What is it with people? GAH! I am so frustrated about it... I just wish that I could do something. Oy. I have a plan.. but it will take a while to implement. Updates will come when the plan is in motion.

In other news, I am still feeling confident in myself, even though certain people... who will remain nameless.. have been making choice comments about my new attitude and dress. Remember my away message? Yeah, bite me. I am happy with who I am. I am a good person, and I work my butt off to do things that I don't have to do. So, if you really don't like this version of me.. then you can go find someone new to be around, because as far as I am concerned, this is an upgrade, and I'm NOT downgrading for you or anyone else. I would be suprised to hear myself saying this kind of stuff, but I really feel this way, and I am so happy with myself at this point that this petty crap WILL NOT bring me down. In other words... if you can't stand to see me happy, you better back off, cuz this isn't going away any time soon.

Finally, my love and thanks to everyone who is being wonderful and supportive of me during this time of change. I couldn't keep it up if it wasn't for you guys!

hmm

2004-06-02T03:43:39Z

Interestingly enough.. I won for Hillel Secretary for next year. I'm happy, but I really wasn't expecting to win. I'm suprised! Thanks for everyone coming out to vote and stuff. Let's just say Hillel board will be very.. interesting.. next year.

Just a few things

2004-06-01T07:07:55Z

This weekend was perhaps the best weekend of my life. Too much to write here because I am tired, but, ask me about it! Here are some highlights though:

Spending the weekend with Anat at her house in Newport Beach
Getting an amazingly amusing sunburn (painful, but it was worth it because Anat has a really funny tanline.. ask HER about that one...)
Being with Lisa and Anat all weekend.
Going to the boogie two nights in a row and getting hit on by a really cute persian jewish boy.
And just relaxing.

I feel amazing about myself, and most of this is due to Anat. She has to be the biggest self-esteem booster I've ever met. She made me feel so wonderful about myself, and, because she is incredibly beautiful herself, when she told me that I looked beautiful it made me feel even better about myself. And, if I didn't look good in something, she told me. She was completely honest to me, and it made me feel even better about myself. I have an away message up on AIM right now that says:

"This weekend has made me feel like a new and different person. I've realized that I can love who I am and how I look no matter what, and when people get that vibe off of me, they feel the same way. So, here is to a new day...

and if you don't like me this way...

then you can bite me."

And that is exactly how I feel. Look out world.. Alexandra's coming out to play, and she's feisty!

Finally, be on alert.. I've got some cute new clothes.. and I'm not afraid to use them!

Now tell me... What did you do this weekend?

Life is a barrel of fun....

2004-05-27T03:20:08Z

mmm... vomit... tasty.

yeah... taste in my mouth (see above) = bad. This is day 3 that I haven't been able to hold down food. Stupid freaking food!!! Stay in my stomach! Ugh.. It's been a freaking long day.. I'm really really glad that it's night time.... almost dark... almost...

in other news... my skin hates me and has decided that it will scar. fucking skin!

finally... things that made me happy today:

helping joline procrastinate on bruin walk
helping hasti procrastinate.. in general
FINALLY giving noa her birthday present
my pounding headache... oh wait... not that one.... :p

this is for all of you.. but especially those who know about the dead squirrel (i.e. Shir Bruin)

2004-05-25T07:50:09Z

LOOK OUT!
ïòð

auclachick is a radioactive squirrel!!

From Go-Quiz.com

hehe... sooo appropriate! (ask me about the squirrel if you want to know)

mmm... good times

Sometimes it's harder to focus on the good than it is on the bad...

2004-05-17T17:08:48Z

And it really shouldn't be that way. I'd like to think of myself as an optimist. I'd also like to think of myself as a millionaire, but if you know me, then you know what the reality is of these statements. I'll call myself a realist (even though you'll probably call me a pessimist) and I'll just hope that by not being a blind optimist I won't walk head on into problems. I'm not dumb, but I won't call myself smart, I'm not slow, but I won't call myself quick, I'm not unmoveable, and often times I'll let people walk all over me. If they don't see it as taking advantage of me, most of the time, neither will I. And yet, today I feel as though there is something different. A feeling. I don't feel like being walked on today. Maybe it's just that I have been having my patience tested for the past few days... or maybe I'm just tired of the feeling that I get in the pit of my stomach that, no matter how hard I try, I'm never going to be good enough, or smart enough, or ANYTHING enough. That's what hurts. That's the truth of the matter. A very intelligent person (and one who most of you know if you hang around with me at all) once told me "If you tell a person that they are something enough, eventually they may believe you". He meant it in a positive way, and it is true on that level as well I suppose. But if you look at it in a negative light, it is just as true. If you tell me enough times that I am worthless, I may start to believe you. If you're actions show me that you don't care enough, I'll believe that too. So, if you say you care, then why do you act like you don't? (Mind you, this is not directed at any one person, rather it is a general statement, even though I can think of a few good examples that are prompting me to say this...) Don't tell me you love me. Show me. Damn... I really just need a hug.

I think it's about time...

2004-05-16T22:29:51Z

for a long post!!!

Ok, so here goes. This weekend has been absolutely insane. First, Friday happened... Friday night, my parents came over for Parents Shabbat. That in itself was crazy... I really didn't expect that they would want to come, but I wanted to invite them, so I did, and they did... Ended up sharing a dinner table with Aaron and his family, which I found quite amusing because... well... yeah... let's just say that he and his family know a WHOLE lot about me and mine. Shir Bruin sang at dinner for Hillel and it was an awesome performance and an overall good time. After the performance, I went back to my seat and ate some of the dinner that had mysteriously multiplied on my plate.. (Aaron went and put another piece of chicken and some veggies on my plate... it was really amusing) and then my parents and I headed back to the dorms. I told Aaron that I would call him as soon as I was back, because a bunch of us were going to hang out, and I ended up talking to my parents for about an hour in the car about various things. Finally, I call Aaron, and he proceeds to hand the phone to Noa (because amusingly enough, they had just finished having a conversation about calling me before Aaron's phone rang) and I told her that I would be there in 10 minutes. Got over there and hung out with Noa, Hasti, Nat, and Aaron and had a fun conversation... (if you weren't there, this is just something that I can't even begin to explain...) We headed out to leave to go off to bed after a little more than an hour and ended up just chatting outside while we waited for Joline to get back in the dorm area, then while she went upstairs to talk to Aaron (hehe... she told us we could go, we waited anyway...) and only then did we head back to our rooms for sleep.
Then.. there was yesterday... So I spent the day just hanging out, having good times, reading, and I ended up chatting with Nat for a while about various things, which was very cool, and slightly unexpected (it was a definite break from a few problems I was having with scheduling for a concert that I had later in the evening). So yesterday there was a Shir Bruin concert at Sinai that Ben (the director of the group) asked me to conduct. We were told that we should get there at 7:30 and that we would perform at 8. In general, I was having people cancel on me, then suddenly say that they could go again, and I only had one tenor for the night (Eitan) who told me that he couldn't hear out of his right ear... (greeeeaatt...) So, Aaron had told me that if I had an issue with my tenors I should call him, which I did, and he wasn't very happy. (Note: this is an understatement... he was quite upset, and I ended up getting upset, and it was a mess) I didn't have a definite answer on whether I would have a tenor or not until --oh-- about 10 minutes til we were supposed to leave to go to the concert. We got to Sinai, and one of the women in charge said that they were running early (by 18 minutes) and that they needed us to perform in about 10. At this point, I didn't have either one of my tenors there and they weren't going to be there for another 15-20 min. We coped as best as we possibly could have, I had the group sing two songs that I figured we could probably do without tenors and while we were starting the second song we had Eitan come in. We said, ok we are going to take a short break, so that we could figure out what songs we were going to do, and hope and pray that Aaron came in time (especially since he was rushing like crazy to be there so that he could help me out... thanks again hun) the woman came over again, and told us we needed to get back up there, NOW, and so we did, and Aaron came in while we were singing and just joined in and did the rest of the set. It was crazy, but we did a good job, considering the circumstances, and even though I was really shaky after we were done (dude, you try and keep your cool when you are being told to perform without one of your sections! I really did hold it down...), the group members said that I did a really good job, and I was shocked by the response. So, Aaron left because he needed to take off, and Emily left. This left me, Solomon, Lisa, Eitan and Anya. We were talking, and Lisa suggested that we should all go out clubbing... which we decided to do (!). This would be my first time clubbing and I was really psyched. We went back to the dorms and it was about 9:30 by this point. We decided that the girls would get ready in Lisa's room and that we would all meet up at around 10:30-11ish so that we could get to a club. The girls called Anat (a friend of mine, who also happens to be Lisa's roomie, and has a reputation about what she does at clubs...) After much convincing, Anat decided to come with us. And with Anat came Tamar... =)... Alot of little stuff happened in between, but we finally got into the club (the Ruby over in Hollywood) at around 12:10ish. It was really crazy and alot of fun. Anat said that if I wanted to dance with a (random) guy, then I just needed to go up to him and start dancing and then she proceeded to demonstrate... so I followed her advice and ended up dancing with this guy. When she and Tamar were away, I ended up dancing with another random guy and Lisa, Eitan, Solomon, and Anya all saw it... according to Lisa she nudged Solomon, and they both thought, Oh wow, free porn! Lisa is still convinced that the way I was dancing was worse than Anat did... which really is saying something. I had a really great time... hehe... anyway... after we left the club (it closed at 2) we went driving down sunset so that we could go to Mel's. We got stuck in traffic, then we got a little lost, then we finally ended up going to Canter's instead. When I finally got back to my room to sleep for the night it was about 4:48... yeah, that was really good times. We are planning on going out again soon, but next time we want it to be an all girls thing, or all of Shir Bruin, or maybe just a random thing. But it needs to happen again. Seriously.
So, how was your weekend???

auclachick @ 2004-05-13T00:13:00

2004-05-13T07:13:36Z

and then it was interesting....

ah... in case you didn't see my away message:

I am reminded of the Shin'a'in proverb/curse:
"May your life be interesting"

My life is really interesting.

Adri... if I didn't have you, I think I would die...

2004-05-07T06:54:49Z

This entry is dedicated to Adri. Not only is she one of the most amazing people I know, but she also genuinely cares. I went to her room in tears looking for a hug, and came back with advice and a care package. It shocks me that she spent so much time just walking around with me and talking out my problems and giving me little bits of advice, humor, and wit. So, in essence, what I really want to say is Thank you sweetheart. I hope you know that every bit of love that you have for me is reciprocated. You are my sweet little kitten and you are forever in my heart dolly.

I love you.

stolen from ethnichybrid

2004-05-05T18:32:20Z

1) Using band names, spell out your name:
Aerosmith (YUM!)
Linkin Park
Eagles
Xzibit
ATL
No Doubt
Dylan (as in... Bob Dylan...)
Radiohead
Ashanti
(2) Have you ever had a song written about you?
never... but you can if you'd like to ;)

(3) What song makes you cry?
Certain Selena songs (Cuz they remind me of her dying) and most love songs.

(4) What song makes you happy?
Ain't no mountain high enough, tainted love, this love (yay maroon 5!), and of course ANYTHING by Train (especially Save the Day and Drops of Jupiter)

(5) What do you like to listen to before bed?
Train, the sound of rain, or soft sighs (preferably from other people... yes, I do like sleeping in the general proximity of other people.

Appearance:
height: somewhere between 5'5 and 5'8
hair color: red
skin color: so white that it has been called blinding...
eye color: in the light, they match my hair (check it out!)
piercings: 2 sets in my ears
tattoos: no...

Right now:
what color pants are you wearing?: blue and brown jeans
what song are you listening to?: I'm not... I'm at the office
what taste is in your mouth?: brownie... *eww...breakfast*
what's the weather like?: sunny... a little too much for me...
how are you?: eh... I'm doing.

Do you...
get motion sickness?: sometimes
have a bad habit?: so many...
get along with the parents?: depends on the day...
like to drive?: again.. depends on the day...

Favorites:
tv show: Simpsons, Family Guy
book: Anything that is Mercedes Lackey, Harry Potter, Kristen Britain stuff...
magazine: eh... no preference...
non-alcoholic drink: apple juice or rootbeer
alcoholic drink: kahluah and milk... or a sweet and sour.
things to do on the weekends: sleeping, singing, being around friends
band or group or singer or rapper: too many... Train (?)

Have you...
broken the law: yes...
ran far away from home: no
snuck out of the house: nope
ever gone skinny dipping: not yet
made a prank call: a few
ever tipped over a porto-potty: uuhmmm.... no...
used your parents' credit card: only with their permission
skipped school before: yeah
fell asleep in the shower/bath: all the time
been in a school play: yep
let a friend cry on your shoulder: yeah

Love:
boyfriend: not now
girlfriend: nope
sexuality: straight
children: in the future, probably
current crush: :)
been in love?: yes
had a hard time getting over someone?: yea
been hurt?: oh yeah.
your greatest regret?: many...
gone out with a someone you only knew for three days?: yes

Random:
do you have a job: yep
your cd player has in it right now: Train
if you were a crayon, what color would you be?: red
what makes you happy?: being with great people
who makes you the happiest?: great friends
what's the next cd you're gonna get?: not sure..
who do you consider good friends?: from college: Aaron, Becky, Adri, Noa, Joline, Sarah, Hasti, and some others too...
When/what was the last:
time you cried?: yesterday
time you got a real letter?: long time ago...
time you got e-mail: today
thing you purchased: food
tv program you watched: extreme makeover
movie you saw at the theater: don't remember...

Your thoughts on:
abortion: that is a loaded question...
teenage smoking: smoking in general = bad...
spice girls: depends on my mood
dreams: are trippy....

rereading through the posts

2004-05-04T18:26:44Z

oh yeah... i was going back through my earlier posts from this past week, and i felt the need to say this...

i feel like a really big ass for making a certain post without hearing what had really happened before doing it. i won't take down the post, but i will apologize for it. aaron, i know you don't read these... but im sorry anyway. i've been a really big jerk lately, and you don't deserve it. i really should have asked what had happened before getting upset, but i didn't and i was wrong. i'm working on it.. i promise.

adventures in the CCH copy room

2004-05-04T18:11:29Z

so, it has been decided that i will clean the copy room at work... a daunting task indeed. this has got to be the messiest room i have ever seen and its one of the most intimidating tasks. luckily for me, i made a new friend at work (thank you hun, much appreciated) and she is helping me with the room from hell. in the mean time... i have an appointment with disaster (and aaron) for this afternoon at 1... only semi-scary... oy... more to be updated... eventually (?)